Ball Pits and McGangBangs
by ElephantsInTheAttic
Summary: America has been deprived of sex for a few months; and when England comes over with his little brother, Sealand, he comes up with a way to get what he wants, and keep him distracted at the same time. Fail summary, oh well.


((...so I was sitting in class and I was all like: "I should totally write something." And I got myself prepared with my pen and all that good shit...and then I realized I had nothing to write is how I figured it out:

-in class- ... -thinking- I'm hungry...I wonder if Mom has any money...I wonder if she'll bring me lunch if I call-...oh yea, her phone is off...Fuck. I'm really in the mood for McDonald's. NUMBER THREE WITH LARGE FRIES AN-... -perks- McGang-Bangs...LOL. SEX AT MCDONALD'S.

And originally...I was going to write this out as Anya, but I figured I haven't written UsUk in a long LONG time...mostly because this pairing disgusts me now-a-days _ and also I thought it would be HILARIOUSSS.

Okay, I'ma type now, , America's POV, by the way. Gakuen or some shit like that...I don't know what else might posses England to take care of Sealand, LOOK IT'S JUST AN AU STORY, OKAY? SO JUST...LIKE, DEAL WITH IT.))

Arthur came over today! But he brought that one kid no one really cares about...Peter - WHO HATES ME, BY THE WAY. He's a little dick face.

Yea, he looks all innocent and shit, but this kid is FUCKING EVIL.

First of all, the little bastard hits me when Arthur isn't looking - IN THE FACE, and I'm suspicious of the many "accident swings" he's had at my junk with a whiffle ball bat. HE'S DONE IT LIKE, EIGHT TIMES, joke, that shit hurts. I don't even think I can have babies now.

Anyway though, Arthur came over to my place with his stupid little brother. I'll be DAMNED if I let him get in my way today, I haven't gotten laid in three months and I'm going to fucking EXPLODE if I don't fuck something really soon. I NEED TO FUUUUUUCK.

So I brought 'em inside, shut the kid up with a lollipop and started watching a movie with Arthur on the couch. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE SEX SCENE COMES ON? I got horny...BUT THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER. That fucking douche face Peter HAD to complain. "ARTHUR! !" He ran towards Arthur, then hugged his legs. "I'm hungry! ! Make me something to eat! !"

Arthur blinked, and then looked towards me and was like, "Do you have anything I can make him, Alfred?"

"PFFT." I waved my hand. "Yeah right, I'm like never home dude! Everything here is like two million years old."I was being sarcastic, by the way. I'M not even two million.

Anyway, so Arthur like...lowered his brows and shit and was like "Well...I guess I should take him home and feed him then."

"NOOOOO." I clung to him before he could stand up.

"I can't just let him be hungry, Alfred."

"Why did you bring him in the first place?"

"I can't leave him at home with Aidan!" He looked down at Fuck-ass as he crawled into Arthur's lap. "Maybe...you can come over for dinner later."

FUCK. THAT. How am I supposed to get laid at ARTHUR'S house? What if Aidan came into his room while I was pounding the hell out of Arthur like it was a Goddamn exorcism? HAHA, GET IT? POUNDING THE HELL OUT? EXORCISM? Phew! I'm hilarious. But yea, there's no fucking way that's happening.

So, because I'm a hero and shit, I came up with the PERFECT alternative. "HEY, let's take him to McDonald's!"

Arthur made a face, like he scrunched it up and shit, it was gross. He was staring at me like that for like, thirty seconds. Creepy. Then he was like, "I don't know if I want him to be eating such rubbish."

Oh, yeah. That's attractive. Rubbish."Come on!" Let's convince him, come oooon persuasion. "they have food to fill his stup- to fill his stomach, and a play place for him to play in. So he'll be full and not bored!"

Arthur blinked, looked down at Peter as he whined, and sighed. "Well...I guess."

"ALRIGHT, LET'S GOOOO!"

So I took Arthur's hand and pulled him off the couch, and I couldn't help but snicker when Peter fell out of his lap and onto the floor.

Arthur didn't think it was funny though, he just glared at me before picking him up off the floor.

What can I say? I'm an asshole. I have a feeling, if I ever have kids, they'll hate me for my assholiness. But that ain't even happening for a LOOONG time, so I ain't trippin' yo!

But anyway, so we walked to the McDonald's, which is conveniently located down the street from my apartment, and walked inside.

I. Was. SHOCKED. There was no one else there but us! It was weird!What's his face ran out to the Play Place to get the stupid bench outside.

I had my arms around Arthur's waist, staring up at the menu, to figure out what I wanted. "Eh," I said, "I think I'm guna get a McGang-bang..."

Arthur twitched, raising his brow. "What the bloody hell is that?"

DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK? Hoe do you NOT know what a McGang-bang is? ! That's like...a CRIME against humanity. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

He lowered his brows a bit and looked at me. "Wha- well what is it? !"

"You'll try one, I'll MAKE you try one, bro. They are SOOOO good."

"So I stepped towards the register before he could protest, and I ordered our food...it's a good thing they have a kid's meal, because I did NOT feel like asking that little pecker what he wanted to eat.

So when our food was done, Arthur grabbed the tray and walked towards the play place thingy with it. "Peter!" He called for his brother.

And, he popped his head out from the ball pit and quickly crawled out, panting. "FOOOOD! !"

Arthur nodded, and smiled. Then, he started to talk some shit like..."don't eat too fast, you'll choke" and, "I don't want you getting addicted to this garbage", but I was too busy putting that beautiful McGang-bang together.

Arthur scrunched his face again when he saw me putting the McChicken on top of the McDouble. "That's IT?"

I scoffed. How the hell can he say it like that? HE HASN'T EVEN TRIED IT! "Shut up and eat it." I pursed my lips and stared at him, watching as he gave the sandwich a questionable look before picking it up.

HEY, HEY. You know that episode of Sponge Bob where Squidward ate his first Krabby Patty? THAT'S WHAT THIS IS LIKE, AHAHAH! As soon as his face brightened after taking that first, mouth watering bite, I made the same face Sponge Bob face and snickered. "You like McGang-bangs, don't you Squidward?"

Arthur's face turned red in embarrassment. "I-It's alright, not as good as MY cooking though..."PSHYEA, RIGHT.

Because people would prefer sticking a scone that looks like a dried pile of dog shit in their mouth rather than a steaming hot burger. Crazy bitch.

SO YEA, I popped Arthur's McGang-bang cherry, and after we were all done eating, we let Peter Pecker-face play around on the play set thing more.

But, I was bored, and I was still horny too. "...I'm guna go play in the ball pit."

Arthur flinched as I stood up. "A-Aren't you a little too big to be playing in a ball pit at McDonald's?"

"PSSH. Nah!" I turned to him with a grin. "Come on, let's go play!"

"Absolutely not!" Arthur turned his head away and crossed his arms. "I will not make an arse out of myself by playing on a playground for CHILDREN!"

"WHATEVER, DUDE. That's why you're so bitter all the time! You don't know how to have fun!" I huffed and walked towards the ball pit. "WELP, I'LL BE PLAYIN'."

And without letting Arthur say another word, I dived into the ball pit, which was a lot deeper than I had expected it to be!

So, I was having fun playing in the ball pit, and I flinched when I noticed Arthur standing in the entrance, looking away slightly, blushing. "M-May...I join you...?"

I blinked a few times and then nodded. "Come on it, rub yourself against my balls!~" AHAHAHAHAH. I DID IT AGAIN.

Arthur rolled his eyes, and then stepped inside, then sat down.

AND THEN I THREW A BALL AT HIS rubbed his cheek and whined. "W-what the hell? !""HAHA, GOTTCHA! !"

He picked up and ball and then threw it back at me, it hit my forehead, WHICH HURT LIKE A BITCH. "Oh, FUCK. NO."

"Hah! That's what you get when you mess with a descendent of Pirate-! !"

Arthur flew back when I chucked another ball at him, it made a loud SLAP , suddenly I found myself in a war of balls with England. His balls were slapping my face, and mine were slapping his. They were everywhere! Rubbing against every inch of our bodies. And during all of this exciting ballsiness, we had gotten closer together, to the point where now we were just pushing each other deeper into the pit.

I had fallen back when he distracted me with a low growl, and shoved me back. "Acck! !"

"HAH!" England had red circle shaped marks all over his face. "I'VE GOT YOU! !"

AND THEN I WAS LIKE, WHOOOOA, 'CAUSE ENGLAND LIKE, TOTALLY STRADDLED ME. But it wasn't to be sexy, he was just shoving his balls in my face, yelling, "TAKE IT, YOU POMPOUS TWIT! ! !"

Yea...alright, that's not helping my boner go down or anything. "Hey! Get off me! !"

"Make me!"

HE TOLD ME TO MAKE HIM, so I did. I grabbed his wrists and flipped him onto his back. "G-gahh! !"

"Not so fun, huh? !"

He was blushing really badly, God knows why.

I mean, it's not like my boner was visible or anything. And it's not like I was between his legs, making it look like we were in a sexual position called missionary. Sarcasm, again. But it really did take me a while to figure that out.

Well, since I'm horny and no ones around...and since I'm already in position, I decided I was going to fuck in the ball pit. I leaned down and planted a fat kiss on Arthur's lips.

He muffled something, I could feel the heat reflecting off his face, and he squirmed. "G-get off of me, wanker! !"

I looked towards were that little brat was playing and tugged at the hem of Arthur's jeans, grunting a bit. "Come on, get these off before he notices!"

"Wha - ? ! Are you mad? ! Get off me, bloody fool! !"

There was no way that was happening either. I've been horny for a while, I'm this far and have his pants half way down his ass, I'm getting it. "Come on, move up a little."

Hesitantly, Arthur complied, whimpering as his dick sprung out of his pants, his face flushing. When I was it come out I was like... DAMN. I mean like, REALLY. DAMN. Here he was refusing and shit and now I found out he's all hard too? I laughed in my head, loudly, but not out loud...'cause I might not get laid if I do that.

I leaned down, glancing back to make sure that one kid was still playing around with the tick tack toe thingy and took a hold of the elastic keeping Arthur's boxers from slipping down, then stretched it, and pulled it over his cock.

I can't say it wasn't amusing, because it was, but there was a part of me that was grossed out by the amount of pre cum dripping out his dick.

I shrugged it off though, and I leaned over him again, kissing the middle of his neck as my right hand gripped his erection and my left slid up his shirt slowly, brushing against the nubs on his chest before taking on between my fingers. I felt him arch as I pinched and stroked him at the same time, letting out a soft moan. "H-hnng..A-Al..."

HAH, That's cute...kinda. I probably would have thought it was cuter if my dick wasn't scrapping against my Goddamn zipper. I bit down on his neck harshly, definitely leaving teeth marks in his skin as I removed my hand from his chest and fumbled with my belt and pants. I only pulled the front down though...just in case, you know? Anyway, so Arthur whined as he arched up more, shivering. "G-Give it to me, give me your manhood, all of it, I want it all...!" He whispered.

WOW. He was REALLY horny...hornier than I am actually.

Whatever, so I got all ready to push my dick in him, and he started squirming, shaking his head. "N-Not dry, you git!"

"ARRRGHH...You're killing me, dude..." I huffed, staring up at him as I wiped some of my own drool off his neck, then held my fingers up to him mouth. "This is the best we got right now."

Spit...it's not the best, but when you're in a child's playground and have been rock hard for an hour and a half, you're kinda desperate for anything, am I right? I'm not weird or anything, it happens to a lot of guys! So shut the hell up!

Arthur tsk'd, then stared at me before taking them into his mouth, making sure he just SLOBBERED all over them. It was GROSS.

I wish I carried around lube with me now...maybe I will...

So yeah, he was busy sucking and lickin' on my fingers, then took them out of his mouth with a little "pop!", panting. I don't blame him...he was doing that for like...three minutes straight. (PROFESSIONAL, AHAHAH.) "T-there...n-now..put tha- AAHH..!"

I had already started to slide the saliva around his entrance, snickering when he moaned, tensing. "Dude, relax already, geez."

He whined as I prodded my index finger against him, then my middle, then my third finger, making sure I got all that saliva in and around him, thrusting my hand into him slowly. I had to hush him a few times, because the kid turned to look at us when I glanced at him, but once I was sure he had gone back to playing on the slide or something, I pulled my hand away from Arthur's ass, and snickered as I got back into position. "Ready, dude?"

"U-uhg..." He panted. "D-don't call me that when we're about to- HNNNG! !"

He arched up as I prodded the head of my dick against his entrance, biting the inside of my lip a bit as I started down at his face. He was scrunching it up again, but...it was cuter this time for some reason. Whatever, I didn't have time for all this cute shit, I need to put my dick in him already.

He gasped, writhing under me as I slid the head into him, groaning lowly. "A-ahh.." Then , I pushed the rest in, shivering at the warmth engulfing me. UUUHHG, why did I wait so long for this?

Arthur was whimpering, pulling my head down to mesh our lips together as I thrusted into him, gently taking a hold of his member. He flicked his tongue against my lips as I began pumping him, wrapping my own tongue around his.

There was a couple things I was thinking about as I thrusted into him. How much my damn knees hurt, whether I should jizz in him or into the ball pit, whether or not he was going to cum first, then I felt him pull away from me to catch his breath.

Only then, did I realize he was grinding against my dick and thrusting into my hand as I thrusted into him.

How impatient.

I was panting as I leaned down again, kissing along his jawline and his neck, as he groaned and moaned. "A-Al...fred, Alfred!" Damn...he's distracting..."A-Alfred...! Y-yes! Oh God, H-harder, please, harder! !"

AHAHA, FREAK. Whatever, I did as I was told, 'cause I kinda wanted to anyway.

But his thrusts started to become uneven, and so did mine. That only meant that I was close to jizzing my fucking brains out though. He threw his head back and moaned under his breath, hissing as his dick pulsed under the pressure of my hand. Shit...my dick was pulsing too, I was ready, but I still hadn't figured out what to do with myself. Without warning Arthur started squirming, his jizz squirting out like a water gun, then slowly died down, dribbling out of the tip.

and most of it was on my hand, and streamed over some of the plastic balls.

He stared up at me with lustful eyes, then grabbed my hand and started to lick off what he left on my hand.

That's what got me, once his tongue made contact with my hand, I pulled out and jizzed...EVERYWHERE.

I mean, DUDE, it was all over his ass and pants and started to seep through the balls...and it just kept coming out, too! I was like, a human jizz machine for a straight minute.

He panted under me, then pushed me back quickly, pulling his own pants and boxers up with shaky hands.

I fell back, and rubbed my butt kinda, 'cause I fell on one of the balls the wrong way. He glared at me, his face full red. "H-How dare you do this to me here? ! You're a PIG!"

"WHATEVER, you wanted it, sicko." I snickered as I pulled my pants and boxer back over myself, shaking a bit myself.

Then, a different kid came rushing into the play place. Arthur's eyes went wide, and he scrambled to exit the ball pit. I followed after him, but I was calm, because I'm smart and didn't want to attract any attention to us. "P-Peter! Come on, love, we're going home!"

Peter whined loudly, then flailed as Arthur lifted him up and tossed him over his shoulder. "But Arthur! I want to play more! This isn't fair, put me down, put me down!"

He huffed and walked towards the exit as I held it open for him and the parents of that kid that had just came into the play place. "Thank God we finished in time..." Arthur muttered to me as he glanced back at the kid, the door closing and muffling out all the sound as he ran to his parents from the ball pit, white shit all over his hand and a large frown on his face as we left the restaurant.


End file.
